Annie Binns | Life in the Fun Lane

‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
The network came alive with clicks from my mouse;
The articles were written, submitted with care,
In hopes that Google would soon be there;

The keywords were nestled all snug on the page,
When search engine robots leapt from their cage;
Finding my backlinks like breadcrumbs laid,
Tiny spiders on the path I had made.

When out on the net there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the couch to see what was the matter.
Away to the browser I flew like a flash,
Spilling my coffee with a loud crash.

The moon on the edge of the MacBook Pro
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But organic search traffic, that much was clear.

Without any pay per click, so very frugal,
I knew in a moment it must be Google.
More rapid than eagles its coursers they came,
And it whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now, Sphinn! now, Digg! now, Twitter and Stumble!
On Squidoo, on Reddit! On Friendfeed and Tumblr!
To the top of the page! To the number one spot!
Secret algorithms, show us what’s hot!"

The sweat and the tears, the niches I’d lost,
Domains unused, keywords tossed;
The hours of staring at Samurai red;
Those days are over, or so Google said.

E-books and newsletters and membership sales,
And a shiny new list brimming with emails.
Laying my finger aside of my nose,
I gave a quick nod, from the chair I rose.

I skipped to the kitchen with my empty mug,
Stopping on the way to give the family a hug.
I whispered to my kids as I held them tight,
"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night."

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